Bit by Crumbling Bit

Small changes make the biggest difference.
I wear my glasses; I lose the headaches.
I initiate a conversation; I make a friend.
I learn a new term; I understand an entire concept.
I skip a meal; I spend the entire next day having to wrestle harder than ever with myself.

In essence, today was both bogus and great.
My brother signed himself out of hospital (where's the ITO when you need one?!) and is back on the drugs. Mum is heartbroken for the second or third time this week. And I hate myself just that little bit extra for not particularly caring.
But I had to stop caring about him a long time ago, or I'd be just like mum: with a shattered heart loosely held together until he next decides to do something stupid.
Lol. I think I just identified my first personal obstacle to providing care as a nurse: I lack compassion for drug addicts. Particularly those with young children. *cough*.
I feel that it's because I've been on the other side of drug addiction for most of my life; for as long as I can remember, the brother has been on one drug or another, or a cocktail of a thousand. And I've seen it not only destroy his brain and affect his personality and behaviour, but I've seen it destroy our mother. Little by little, over the years.
But anyway.
Sleepsleepsleep.